


Finding Light

by mixedupturnedaround



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Love Confessions, Miscarriage, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25824808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mixedupturnedaround/pseuds/mixedupturnedaround
Summary: Rey shuts herself off from the force to avoid heartbreak and Kylo Ren believing her to be dead goes on a rampage searching for answers.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	Finding Light

**Author's Note:**

> Warning description of possible miscarriage. Be advised. 
> 
> I had a dream of this story and decided to write a quick one-shot hope you like!

Rey steered her ship away from Kylo Ren as fast as she could. Her heart hammered in her chest like a freight train and her mind whirled with the knowledge that her entire life was about to change.

After the battle on Crait, she had slowly allowed Kylo back into her heart. She called him Kylo for a few days in anger but when it had cooled she slipped back into calling him, Ben. One night as they laid together almost asleep in bed he’d told her that he never wanted to hear her call him Kylo and that he didn’t understand it but anytime she did, it was like his heart would break. Every day she saw more and more of the Light and the kind-hearted person she’d known he could be. Finally, with Snoke’s voice out of his head, he’d started thinking for himself and overtime the darkness seemed to fade. Their first kiss was through the force bond. It was almost eight months after Crait and he was in the middle of telling her that he’d just put Unkar Plutt in jail on slavery charges when she had launched into his arms and kissed him soundly. He’d been too stunned to react at first but within just a moment Ben had matched her passion. Everything continued that way until one night changed everything.

She’d been on Coruscant on a reconnaissance mission gathering intel from a First Order mole when Ben had found her. With a quick flick of his wrist, the mole had been knocked unconscious, and before she could say anything he’d pinned her against the wall kissing her hungrily. When they parted for air he sent her a picture of his quarters through the force bond. Wordlessly she had followed and they had gone into his ship and finally given in to their desires. They’d laid together for a little while after until Ben had fallen asleep. Slipping out of bed Rey stood to use the restroom when all of a sudden a change in the force almost knocked her off her feet. Within herself, light blossomed and her mind was flooded with color. There was no doubt what had just occurred and suddenly Rey had found it very hard to breathe. Scrambling to get dressed she sprinted out the door down the ramp and all the way to her own ship.

She didn’t want to go back to the base because Leia would sense something and she didn’t want to answer any questions anytime soon. No one at the resistance knew anything of her relationship with Ben, and she sure didn’t want to start with this. So flying to Achto she set up in one of the huts. Within a day she’d already fallen in love with the little ball of light growing to be a child inside her. By the first week, she’d found herself fiercely protective of anything that would harm her baby in any way. Ben had consistently tried to make contact with her but she wasn’t ready to talk to him. She was coming to enjoy sitting in the grass overlooking the ocean and taking walks just lightly holding her flat tummy and singing soothing lullabies. After about two weeks of her peaceful routine, she worked up the courage to tell him the next day as she drifted off to sleep. 

Sometime in the night, she woke up to a bird squawking and she realized there was blood on her trousers. Fear gripped her heart as terror filled her entire being. She reached out to her little light only to feel it changing. Rey had heard of this happening before and her heart filled with grief. Not wanting to feel her little light fade completely she slammed down her walls silencing the force. It felt like someone had smashed a pan into her chest and she collapsed onto the ground struggling to breathe. Not only was the force silent for the first time in her life but she could no longer feel Ben in the back of her mind. Rey felt more empty than she did during the months and years of only eating every so often. As she caught her breath her gasping for air was replaced by sobs. Her little light would never grow brighter and she would never have a chance to hold her and Ben’s baby in her arms. Her sobs kept her awake as she held a blanket close to her chest.

At the same time on the other side of the galaxy. Kylo Ren walked proudly down the hall of a starfighter as officers looked on with respect. He’d been able to clean up a lot of the galaxy since Snoke’s death since he’d diverted their attention away from the resistance and towards gangsters and slave owners. His heart had been troubled since Rey had left so suddenly after their night together and had been shutting him out ever since. Was she regretting it or had he done something wrong? As he reached for the door to his chambers his world came falling down. His heart burst with excruciating pain as he yelled out in shock. The place Rey had taken in his heart was black and replaced by darkness. The light in him had been snuffed out. Pain was quickly pushed aside and anger seeped in. At that moment he vowed to find out exactly what had happened and he would make whoever had killed his Rey suffer for ever being born. 

Back on Achto Rey woke later in the afternoon after finally falling asleep sometime in the late morning. Her tongue was like cotton and she moved to find some water. Outside the hut, the caretakers had left some bread but without the baby, Rey had no desire to eat. She found some water and returned to her bed before crying herself to sleep. 

Kylo Ren snapped the neck of the man he was interrogating before heading to his ship. Just for being aware of the resistance he ordered the troopers to execute anyone who got in their way. He left a trail of fire on the past three planets he’d been on and yet the darkness around him only grew denser.

Two weeks passed of grief. Rey could barely pull herself out of bed. Luckily the caretakers seemed to take pity on her and she would wake up with food next to her bed a couple times a day. All of a sudden banging on her hut door made her shoot out of bed. Flinging the door open she saw Finn staring at her expectantly before pulling her in for a hug. His hug was nice but it was lacking what she needed. He leaned back and she asked, “Finn, what are you doing here?”

“Poe sent me to get you. Chewie is waiting for us in the falcon. We have to go!”

He switched from the hug to leading her by the hand dragging her out the door. She wrenched herself free stopping abruptly.

“Finn no! I’m not going! The resistance is fine I’m sure.”

A look of fear and sadness filled his features. “Rey you don’t understand. Kylo Ren has been on a warpath looking for us. He’s burned tens of villages to the ground. Interrogating anyone we might know and killing them either way. We were handling it but he knows where we are. We can’t run anymore. You’re the only chance we have to kill him.“

Realization struck her hard. Her poor Ben. She hadn’t considered what shutting herself off from the force would do to him. He probably thought she was dead and he blamed the resistance. She didn’t want to open up to the force again, she couldn’t face the emptiness. There was only one thing to do. She had to save her Ben from being lost forever. 

Spurring into action she ran towards the falcon. Yelling at Finn on the way “Finn come on! We don’t have time to waste. “

They strapped in and the falcon was off, hurtling through space towards the frontline.

A message blared through the system and Poe’s voice yelled through the cabin. 

“ Finn! Where are you?!”

Finn pressed the button to respond. “ We are on the way, about to hit the atmosphere. “

“Do you have Rey?”

“Yes, we are coming!”

Alarms blared in the background and Poe came through again “He’s here! Kylo Ren is here! If we don’t make it don’t let our death be in vain!”

“Poe! Just hold him off!” Finn yelled 

There was no answer and the falcon rattled as they broke the atmosphere. Troop carriers were landing beside them just seconds after and Kylo Ren’s silencer was already on the ground the ramp open. 

  
Rey wasted no time in sprinting off the falcon leaving Finn trailing behind. She had to get to Ben before he did something there was no coming back from. Blaster shots fired and she had no choice but to open up to the force to block them. Life flowed through her and she felt Ben’s shock. Tears ran down her cheeks not because of Ben but because her little light hadn’t left! It was brighter than ever and it was coupled with another light! She hadn’t lost her baby! She had gained another! Rey threw open the door to see Ben in his helmet and all-black, his lightsaber hanging loosely towards the ground the tip of it burning into the metal. The whole of the resistance stood behind her Leia and Poe at the front. She yelled across the room.

“Ben!”

His head snapped up and met her gaze. A tense moment passed and she spoke through the bond.

“Go through the door behind you and we will talk in the control room. I’ll be in there in a second.”

Without a word he turned and followed her instructions. 

Poe moved to follow him and Rey spoke up no-nonsense. 

“No! Everyone needs to stay here. I will talk to him alone.”

Finn scoffed “You’re crazy if you think we are letting you go in alone. “ 

Leia gave her a questioning look but spoke up anyway. “ Finn, you have to let her do this. “

He let out a frustrated huff but made no move. Rey nodded thanks at Leia before following Ben into the room. She closed the door behind her. Before she could fully turn around she was engulfed in large arms tight against his chest. 

“Rey I’m so sorry. I thought you were dead. I had no light inside me without you. I just had to know what happened. I assumed it was because of the resistance I was dedicated to finding out.”

“Ben I know I’m sorry too. I shut off to the force and I didn’t think about what you would think.”

Tears welled in his eyes when he pulled away to look her in the eyes. Fear of rejection and worry for her wellbeing was flooding her through the bond.

“What happened? You left me in Coruscant without a word and shut me out and you feel different. I don’t know what it is.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she took his face in her hands. She internally swore she had never cried so much in her life as she had cried in the last few weeks. 

“Ben, I’m pregnant.”

His jaw dropped in surprise and she took his hand and placed it on her still flat but a little fuller stomach. 

“You can feel their force signatures.”

This kinda woke him up a bit as he caught what she said. 

“Wait! Their? As is multiple?”

She smiled sweetly her heart full of the intimacy of the moment. “Yes, Ben reach out tell me what you feel.”

He closed his eyes and let his hand rest. After just a minute his eyes popped open. 

“I feel them! It’s amazing!”

“It really is.”

The moment stayed silent before Rey spoke up again. 

“Well Ben, you kind of made a mess here busting in like you did. I’m gonna have to talk to the resistance. Call off the troopers and the first order. Maybe we can come to some sort of truce between the two. When everything is settled we can leave in the Silencer to go away to make decisions on what to do next. “

Nodding, Rey extricated herself from his embrace and reached for the handle. Before she could open it his hand wrapped around hers.

“I love you!”

“I love you too.”

The door opened with guns trained resistance on one side and first order on another. Ben’s voice boomed from behind her.

“Stand down!”

Reluctantly the officers lowered the weapons and Rey shouted to the resistance to do the same. 

Ben spoke up again. “We need to end this fighting. Hux, go to the conference room.”

Rey walked away from Ben much to her dismay and said “Leia, Poe, come on. It’s time we came to an agreement. “

Poe’s face turned up in confusion and he shouted “Agreement! There’s no agreeing with Kylo Ren!”

Leia shushed him in correction. “ Poe, the resistance stands for peace. We are not an emblem of bloodshed and we won’t start now. If the first order wants to talk then we will.”

Grumbling under his breath he marched into the conference room behind Hux. Ben stood at the door waiting for Rey helmet still abandoned in the control room.

Leía wrapped an arm around Rey’s and came up to address her son. 

“Ben.”

“Mother.”

“I’d like to have a conversation after all the politics are over. I’ve missed you.”

Rey felt sadness and affection chip at his hardened heart and she knew his soft spot for his mother had never left. With a sharp nod, he held out a hand motioning for them to go in.

As soon as the door shut, the yelling had begun. It went on for hours, mostly between Hux and Poe but ultimately the first order had already changed significantly since Snoke’s death. When they came to an agreement on the big issues a contract had been signed and the resistance and first order had tentative peace. 

Ben and Leia led the way into the crowd and announced the treaty. Many weeks of follow up would occur but for today no one had to die. Ben looked at Rey expectantly sending a “Let’s get out of here.” Through the bond.

Replying with “Ok go wait for me on the ship. I’ll be right there.” Rey walked over to the rest of her friends.

Finn, Rose, Poe, and Leia were talking over the details of the truce when she interrupted.

“I’m gonna leave again for a bit. Ben and I have some things to talk about.”

Finn sent her a confused look. “Ben? Who’s Ben?”

Leía answered with a smile. “My son, Kylo Ren.”

Finn sputtered “ Your son?!”

“Yes.”

This time Poe spoke up in a protective brother tone. “You’re not going anywhere with him Rey. I’m glad you could talk him into the treaty but he’s a monster. You don’t know what he will do to you.”

Rey laughed outright “I’m pregnant.”

Leia only smiled wider and tears slipped down her cheeks as she wiped them with her hand.

Poe and Finn looked all the more aghast and confused. 

Finn shouted first “ Well then what are you thinking Rey? You don’t want your baby in that kind of danger!”

“He’s their father.”

Finn looked as if he’d been slapped and Poe stumbled in his footing. Rose stood mouth agape and Leia only stepped forward and hugged her, whispering in her ear.

“Go on Rey, I’ll deal with this. You go see Ben. Take care of him for me and I hope I will get to see my grandkids sometime too.”

“Of course. Thank you, Leia.”

Leia released Rey from the hug and Rey jogged our to the silencer. Ignoring all the strange looks she shut the door behind her and strapped into the co-pilot chair. Ben took off and jumped into light speed. Sometime later they landed in Naboo.

Ben lead her to a gorgeous estate overlooking the countryside. When they had gotten through the door Rey saw a couch and all but collapsed onto it. Ben followed her worriedly.

”Are you ok?”

”Yeah I’m just exhausted. I guess taking care of three lives is just a lot.”

” I bet. So what happened Rey why did you disappear on me and then cut yourself off from the force?”

"Well on Coruscant I felt it the moment I got pregnant and it just threw me for a loop. It took me a while to be ready to talk to you about it so I was ignoring you. Then when I wanted to tell you I thought I was losing the baby, I guess I was just feeling the one becoming two. I was so scared and I didn't think I could handle feeling our child die. So I shut off to the force. Finn came and got me a few weeks later and told me you were coming for the resistance. I knew I had to save you."

"Rey, you should have told me in Coruscant we could have avoided this whole mess."

"I realize that now but Ben you can't go back to the darkside if something were to happen to me. The kids will need you and you can't raise them in a warzone."

Ben looked horrified at the possibility. "Nothing will ever happen to you ,Rey. You ar never leaving my side again."

"But if it does I need you to promise me."

"Ok, I promise Rey. I need you to promise me something too."

"What is it?"

"Promise that you won't run away again or shut yourself off from me. I can't go through that again."

"I know, I'm sorry Ben."

Ben smiled and pulled her into his lap. The two of them just enjoying each other's company. Rey was four months pregnant when she married Ben Solo. The galaxy was at peace the same month and Rey and Ben elected a council. Five months later the couple welcomed two identical twin girls with jet black hair and bright eyes. Leia had made peace with her son and had stayed with them for a week following the twins birth. Many years later the couple would go down in the history books as the soulmates who saved the galaxy.


End file.
